The YYH Gang Goes Sledding
by yokai-chan125
Summary: What would happen if the YYH crew went sledding and Hiei had to go to a hospital? Find out much silliness ensues ! Rated for language.


**The YYH Gang Goes Sledding**

**_What would happen if the YYH crew all went sledding and Hiei had to go to a hospital?_**

It was a brisk January day, and most of the (main-character) YYH gang was on vacation at a little cabin located, well, basically out in the wilderness. They had been spending the week hiking, baking cookies, fighting with each other, and listening to Hiei whine.

"This is absolutely retarded," groaned Hiei, making a fire in the fireplace, one of the only things he'd been good for all week. "Can I leave?"

"Please do," said Kuwabara. "You're being a party pooper and a jerk. Hey, Yukina-chan, wanna go for a walk in the woods with me?!"

"Sure, Kazuma-san," she replied. Kuwabara looked really excited. "And," she added, "why don't you come with us, Hiei-san? You said were looking for something to do."

"OK," said Hiei, getting up from the hearth. He wanted to please his sister. Kuwabara looked crestfallen.

"Hey," said Yusuke, walking into the room, holding a can of RedBull (that can't be good). "Let's all go sledding! We haven't used that sled on the back porch at all, and I found this perfect big-ass hill last night!"

"What were you doing in the woods at night?" asked Kuwabara skeptically.

"Uh…training. Yeah!" Yusuke turned bright red.

"Keiko-chan was missing last night too…" Kuwabara pressed on, smirking. "She your new fighting buddy?"

"Kuwabara, I will BREAK YOUR FACE," Yusuke growled.

Kuwa stopped smiling. "Uh, let's go sledding," he replied meekly.

In ten minutes they'd gathered up everybody around the cabin (Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwa, Keiko, Yukina, Boton and Shizuru) and dragged an old, beat-up toboggan out into the woods to the top of a hill that had either been cleared once or was just a natural break in the forest. Whatever the case, it was ferociously steep and it was a LONG way to the bottom. WHOO-HOO! Sledders' paradise! Or wimps' nightmare!

"What the hell are we doing?" Hiei asked. "What is _that_?" He pointed to the sled.

"You've never been sledding before? Loser!" laughed Kuwabara. "Your childhood must've sucked!"

Hiei just glared.

"OK, Hiei," Yusuke explained, "this is a sled and we're gonna ride it down the hill. It's fun. Got it?"

"Baka ningen," said Hiei under his breath.

"I'm going first!" Kuwabara announced. "Yukina-chan, would you care to ride down with me?"

"Uh, no thanks," replied Yukina, taking a look at the steep hill. "I'll watch first. Be careful."

"Of, course," grinned Kuwabara, glowing with what he thought was manliness, but was really that special kind of stupidity guys exude when they're trying to impress girls. He plopped himself down on the toboggan.

"Don't pull an Ethan Frome!" shouted his sister.

"Huh?" said everyone but Keiko and Kurama, the only other two who actually read their school assignments (or went to school).

"Here I go!" cried Kuwa and pushed off down the hill. By the time he'd gone a hundred feet he was flying along the icy slope at about 20 mph. "Umph!" he hit the first bump, bounced, but hung onto the sled. "Yaack!" he hit the second bump and nearly lost it, but somehow managed to stay on. He was whizzing along now so fast he had no chance of steering. He hit the third bump. "AAAAAAHHH!" he flew of the sled (which kept going), flailing comically in the air before he hit the snowy ground with a muffled thud. The old sled, taking another beating, came to a stop in some brambles at the base of the hill.

Yusuke, Hiei and Shizuru erupted into hysterical laughter (Yusuke because Kuwabara was the group idiot, his sister because Kuwabara was the family idiot, and Hiei because seeing Kuwa get hurt just gave him that warm, fuzzy feeling inside), while Kurama covered his mouth trying to hold in his chuckles. Boton and Keiko giggled but looked worried as well, and Yukina trotted off down the slope towards her poor Kazuma lying halfway down the hill.

But she needn't have worried; Kuwa was fine (except for the snow in his ears), and the two of them dragged the sled up the hill together, Kuwabara slipping and sliding, Yukina stepping with dainty ease up the frozen gorge.

"I'm SO going next," said Yusuke when the pair reached the top.

"You're crazy," Keiko rolled her eyes. "You're gonna kill yourself all over again."

"In that case, wanna die with me?" said Yusuke grinning. "C'mon! Ride down with me. It'll be fun."

"Fine," Keiko agreed and sat down behind Yusuke. "You'd just be good at steering."

"Sorry, babe, that's not one of my skills, but if you need me to beat someone up for you…"

"Har, har. Just go."

Yusuke grabbed the rope at the front and inched forwards until they skidded off, propelled by the force of gravity. They sped faster and faster, but Yusuke had been humble; he was much better at directing a sled than he'd let on, avoiding the disastrous bumps, but hitting just enough to make it an exciting ride. They actually made it all the way to the bottom intact and laughing, Keiko clinging in mock-fear to her boyfriend.

"No frickin' way," breathed Kuwabara, annoyed at his own failure and his friend's success. He'd wanted to impress Yukina so bad, and he'd made a fool of himself…and in her element no less!

"Who's next?" asked Keiko as the couple appeared over the ridge, the toboggan in tow.

"Not me," said Shizuru. "There's no way I'm riding that thing down there. You kiddies have fun." She lit a cigarette, emitting waves of smoke and older coolness.

"I going to have to agree with Shizuru-chan on this one," Boton piped up. "It looks far too dangerous."

"I'll go then," said Kurama. "You sure neither of you ladies want to come with me?"

"Well, OK," replied Boton, succumbing to Kurama's irresistible charm. She sat down on the sled behind him and wrapped her arms gingerly around his waist (to stay on of course!*wink*) and nearly swooned; he smelled like roses. As they hurtled down the hill it was made obvious that Kurama was even better at steering than Yusuke (but c'mon, what_ isn't_ Kurama good at?), but even so Boton shrieked in terror all the way down.

"How can she be scared?" Yusuke mused. "She rides that paddle of hers like a maniac."

"Only you would know," said Keiko.

Kurama and Boton emerged at the top of the slope, Kurama pulling the toboggan, and Boton clinging to his arm and whimpering.

"That was scary," she whined.

"Grow up," muttered Yusuke.

"Yusuke!" snapped Keiko.

"Who's next?!" cried Yusuke, trying to ignore Keiko's glare.

"Hey, Yukina-chan, wanna go with me now?" asked Kuwabara excitedly (and a little desperately).

"Um, OK, Kazuma-san." She looked nervous, but kneeled (she couldn't sit cross-legged in a kimono) behind Kuwabara on the sled. He turned a deep hue of pink when she put her arms around him. Yusuke, Kurama and Shizuru rolled their eyes, while Hiei just glared angrily.

"Uh, here we go," said Kuwabara, kicking off.

"They're so gonna wipe out," said Yusuke, shaking his head and grinning.

"Yeah," added Shizuru. "If there's one thing that my baby brother sucks at, it's life."

"Actually, they're doing pretty well," observed Keiko. "They haven't crashed y—"

At that exact moment, and about half-way down the hill, the sled flipped, spilling its unfortunate passengers face-first onto the icy decline. Well, actually Yukina fell on Kuwabara, but the unlucky dude got a faceful of cold, powdery white. Hiei nervously contemplated whether or not to go check on his sister while Yusuke brayed like a donkey.

"Stop laughing!" Keiko hissed periodically, but it was obvious she was trying to hold in her own giggles. Shizuru also seemed to find Kuwabara's failure extremely amusing.

By the time the tall, redheaded teen and the small, blue-haired koorime reached the top of the hill Yusuke had gotten a hold of himself, but Kuwabara was suffering for intense embarrassment. Not only had he screwed up in front of Yukina (again) and almost everyone was laughing at his expense, Hiei seemed to have fixed an even more intense glare on him.

"You are the biggest baka I've ever encountered," the little hi-youkai snapped before he could stop himself.

"Oh yeah, retard?" Kuwabara quipped back. "Let's see _you_ ride this thing!"

_Crap_, thought Hiei, _I knew I shouldn't have let that come out._ Hiei was not one to back down from a challenge though, so he sat down on the toboggan and took hold of the steering rope. After all, how hard could it be to pilot a sled? Also, he was accustomed to high speeds and dangerous activities (Hiei is like the Makai poster-child for teenage risky behavior). He pushed off. The sled swerved as it hit a patch of ice. Whoa…he pulled the steering strings. The sled skidded the other way. Yikes! This was much harder than it looked, and the worst part is he was picking up speed. He saw another, larger patch of ice up ahead…if only he could avoid it he'd be home safe. He yanked the rope, avoiding the ice, pulling the toboggan way to the right side of the hill. He smiled, looking behind him at the averted disaster. Haha, Kuwabara could kiss his—WHUMP! By clearing the icy section, Hiei'd run his sled clear off the unforested hill…into a tree.

"He just Ethan Frome'd," stated Shizuru calmly, taking a drag of her cigarette.

"Is he OK?" asked Yukina.

Hiei lay stunned and aching next to the tree, surrounded by chunks of his shattered sled, the cold snow seeping into his cloak. The world spun. If this story had been drawn as actual manga, he'd have had little spirals for eyes (all three of them!). _Craaaaap…_ He'd morbidly embarrassed himself, pretty much leveling himself with Kuwabara (not that anyone else thought that he was that stupid, but HE felt pathetic). It was one of those awfully embarrassing situations where you just want to curl up and disappear. Or die. Or at least pass out until people stop laughing at you. He knew everyone was probably chuckling at his expense, and Kuwabara was definitely savoring this. In fact Kuwabara would probably never let this go, it being the one time he'd even gotten Hiei to make a fool out of himself. He didn't want to face the top of the hill, so he just lay there, letting the cold snow sooth his bruised ego.

"Um, he's not getting up," said Keiko, ceasing to giggle.

"Crap, maybe he really did maim himself," said Shizuru, starting to actually look worried.

"Don't say that!" squeaked Yukina, starting to trot off down the slope. Kurama followed her.

As Hiei lay in the snow, he began to feel more and more retched, sorrier and sorrier for himself. Why did stupid shit always happen to him? He was getting worried now; he was actually starting to feel kind of emotional. Maybe he was finally letting it out…maybe he just needed a shoulder to cry on…maybe he had man-PMS (no really, guys go through emotional cycles too). Whatever the cause, this was the emo state Kurama and his sister found him in.

"Ohmigod! I-is he OK?" gasped Yukina, glimpsing his prostrate form.

Kurama rushed over, knelt down and placed a hand on Hiei's shoulder. "Hiei-kun, are you alright?"

"Unh…"

"Hiei-kun, say something. Are you alright?"

"Unnnnnnnnnnh…"

"Hiei?" Kurama tried to check Hiei's pulse, then remembered that youkai don't have heartbeats. _Wow, I've been living in Ningenkai too long_, he thought.

Hiei blinked and opened his eyes.

"Are you OK, Hiei-san?"

Hiei felt terrible and embarrassed and so upset and… "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..." he began to sob.

"Uh, Hiei-san?" said Yukina.

"Did you hit your head?" asked Kurama.

"I-I dunno, maybe…uuuuaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhh…"

"Uh, there, there," said the wildly confused Kurama, hugging his most-likely-head-injured, fiery friend.

"Um, it'll be OK," said his sister, embracing him too.

"Everything OK?" called Yusuke thumping down the hill, towards the bizarre group hug. He reached the group. "Holy shit…" Hiei crying? He considered dialing 9-1-1. "What's going _on_?"

Kurama shrugged then swirled his finger by the side of his head to indicate that Hiei'd gone loopy. OK, maybe he _should _call an ambulance. No, no, that would make Hiei flip a shit…he might even kill someone…that would only be an option if the hi-youkai was deeply unconscious, preferably in a coma.

"Um, Hiei, want to go back up the hill?" asked Kurama. "We can talk later if you want to." Kurama had to admit, he was deeply concerned.

Hiei snuffled and wiped his tears, nodding and regaining his composure, and finally getting to his feet.

"You alright, Hiei-san?" asked Yukina softly.

"Yeah."

"The sled's definitely not, though," said Yusuke, laughing gently and eying the splintered remains of what had once been a toboggan. They didn't even try to pick up the pieces.

At the top of the hill everyone was concerned, even Kuwabara, although he was trying not to show it, so when the foursome arrived they were immediately bombarded with questions.

"Are you OK, Hiei-san?" asked Boton.

"Hn," came Hiei's gruff reply.

"He's fine," Kurama answered for his friend, although deep down he wasn't so sure.

"Didja break anything?" teased Kuwabara. "Like your face?"

"No, but you obviously broke yours a long time ago." Hiei was nearly as good at verbal sparring as he was at the physical kind.

"Well," snapped Kuwabara, "at least I ate my veggies when I was a kid so I grew up to be taller than the average fourth-grader."

"You _never_ ate your vegetables," said Shizuru, stamping her cigarette out in the snow.

"Ha, don't be so mean," said Yusuke, trying to prevent another Hiei-emotional-breakdown (God forbid). "It just runs in his family," he added, seeing Yukina and NOT THINKING.

"WHAT?" asked Kuwabara. "Is this that sister you guys once mentioned? Who _is_ she? Do you guys _know_ her??"

"Um," said Yusuke, sweat-dropping. "Only as acquaintances."

"She's just someone I was looking for, for a while," said Hiei. Oh God, let it END. Let this horrific debacle END.

"Wow, do you still keep in touch?" pried Kuwa.

"Uh, kinda…"

"That must be nice. I'm still looking for my brother," sighed Yukina.

"Well, uh, I hope you find him," gasped Hiei, breaking into a cold sweat.

"C'mon, why can't you tell me who she is?" wheedled Kuwabara.

"Uh," Hiei was feeling strangely dizzy now. From stress, right? I mean stress could make you feel dizzy right? RIGHT??

"I mean, it can't be _that_ big of a secret, right? Who is she, man?"

Dizzy…so cold and dizzy and…TWUMP!

"Uh, Hiei-kun?"

***

"Hiei?"

"He's still out, Yusuke."

"No, no, I swear he moved!"

"He's gonna be OK, right?"

What the HELL? Hiei opened his eyes to a hospital bed and the worried gang lounging around his room. Everyone was there and their expressions ranged from extremely concerned Yukina to Kuwabara in the corner playing with the blood-pressure cuff. "Where the hell am I?" he asked, more confused than angry. For some reason he just didn't have the energy to be irate; he still felt dizzy.

"In some nearby hospital," said Yusuke, shrugging.

"You've been unconscious for five hours," added Keiko.

"We decided to take you here when you hadn't woken up for an hour," said Shizuru. "They wanted to call an ambulance but I knew you'd freak out if you woke up on the way here, so we drove you."

_Wow, she knows me well_, thought Hiei, _for someone who doesn't really know me well._

"Well, I _still _think we should've called 9-1-1," Boton put her two cents in. "What if he was seriously ill?"

"Three or four innocent lives," said Kuwabara putting out one hand, "or one _not-so-innocent_ life," he completed his mock-scale and laughed.

"That's not funny!" snapped Boton.

Hiei just held his aching head, noticing for the first time the IV in his left arm. At least they'd kept the bandages on the other one (thanks to Kurama). "What the hell's wrong with me?" he groaned.

"You've got a concussion," said a slightly frazzled Kurama, who'd also been required to attempt a reasonable explanation for Hiei's Jagan. "You must have actually hit your head."

"Ironic, eh?" said Yusuke. "We all get smashed around for years and one of us finally gets a head injury from crashing into a tree on a _sled_."

"Actually," said Keiko, looking at Yusuke, "maybe you_ should_ get your head checked." She was only half-kidding.

Hiei lay back down; his head was spinning. He closed his eyes and heaved a massive sigh. The bed was actually reasonably comfortable, or at least more comfortable than he had known for most of his life, the blankets warm, and he couldn't see, but he had the feeling he was wearing fuzzy socks. Holy crap, what WAS he wearing?!? He hadn't taken the time to inspect his attire yet, and was not at all pleased to find himself in what looked like a really ugly women's nightgown with ties in the back. Jeez, if there was one thing about Ningenkai that bothered him the most, this might just be it. In Makai if you got maimed, people at least didn't steal your clothing.

"Uuugh…" he groaned.

"You alright?" asked Kurama, feeling deeply sorry for his friend.

"Where the hell are my clothes?"

"Um, I'm not sure," Kurama admitted. "I, uh, didn't take them so I wouldn't know." Wow, hospitals could sure be awkward.

"I wanna go home," Hiei whined.

"Just get some rest," Kurama advised. Hiei had a home?

"How's your head, man?" asked Yusuke moseying over.

"Fine," said Hiei curtly. He hated being seen in this weakened state.

"If you're 'fine,' then why are ya in a hospital bed and a nightie?" taunted Kuwabara, also sauntering over.

Damn. He'd mentioned the nightie. Hiei looked at him angrily.

"Kuwa-kun, don't…" started Kurama, but Kuwabara paid no heed, pressing on in his obnoxious onslaught. This was just too good to pass up.

Hiei continued to glare. "I'm_ fine_," he emphasized, pulling the IV out of his arm (ow) and angrily throwing back the sheets.

"Hiei! Don't!" Kurama begged, still trying to rein in the situation, but again he was ignored.

Hiei staggered to his feet and—hoooooooooly crap, he had no pants on. He had not taken the fact that there might be no bottom to his wardrobe into account, but luckily, since he was rather petit, the johnny reached his mid-thigh. But ohmigod, he actually had fuzzy socks on. This was NOT going as planned. Also he was starting to feel horribly dizzy and his head was starting to pound. Kuwabara just stood there dumbfounded.

"Uh…" said Yusuke, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Hiei-kun, get back into bed," said Kurama, placing his hand on Hiei's shoulder to direct him.

Dizzy…so dizzy… Hiei collapsed against the fox, his stockinged feet sliding on the linoleum floor. Kurama had to hug the little hi-youkai to his chest so he wouldn't fall over. Damn, this was awkward…

Just then a nurse walked in, coming to check on her patient and NOT expected the chaos she found.

"He tried to get up," Keiko explained, when she saw the perplexed nurse eyeing the strange scene.

"Jaganshi-san?" she said, reading her clipboard and giving Hiei's 'last name' a weird look. "Are you alright? Let's get you back to bed." She walked over, took the semi-conscious Hiei from a rather embarrassed Kurama, and tucked him back under the covers. Hiei didn't resist; at this point he didn't even care. "Just stay in bed and get some rest. And, uh, leave this be," the nurse added, reinserting Hiei's IV.

_Shit_, thought Hiei as he lay in his bed, actually letting the nurse check him over. _I did it again! I let Kuwabara make me look like a total baka! _He was so busy wallowing in self-pity that he didn't notice the poor nurse shooting him a quizzical and rather worried look, her stethoscope positioned over where his heart would be.

"Uh…" she started, but Kurama, once again trying to frantically come up with an earthly explanation, cut her off with a nervous laugh.

"Heh-heh, uh, he doesn't_ have_ a _heart _per-se," Kurama explained, breaking into a cold sweat.

"_That's_ for sure!" joked Kuwabara.

"Shhhh!" hissed Boton.

"What?" the nurse looked at Kurama, wondering if she was dreaming.

"He's a demon, sweetie," said Shizuru completely nonchalantly like—duh!—of course there were supernatural beings from other worlds, and—duh!—of course they didn't have hearts. She flicked out her lighter.

"Uh, what—hey, ma'am! You can't smoke here!"

"Oh, my bad. Sorry," said Shizuru.

"What did you say he was?" asked the stunned nurse.

"A demon."

"Riiiiiight…" said the nurse, slowly backing out of the room. After she shut the door the whole room remained quiet for a few long seconds.

"Can we leave now?" asked Hiei, irritated, head still throbbing.

"Yes," said Kurama, who himself was near collapse. "Yes, we definitely can."

The End


End file.
